My dreams are back.  Thank-you.  I have not had restful sleep for a while-I have not been dreaming-or can’t recall any dreams that may have seeped into my sleep.  I fall asleep tired and wake up tired.  Mental lists of things I have to get done have been running through my sleep- so much so that a forgotten item on my list is what wakes me…….did I call the insurance company?  Did I get back with mom’s doctor?  Have the car checked?  Deposit the check that was already two days late?  Schedule the vet appointment? Volunteer to carve pumpkins in my daughters class?  yes.  yes. no. check still late.  no. yes.   go back to sleep.

I have always been a list maker.  It is the structured part of my unstructured brain.  My system.  My lists. For a while I revolted and did away with my lists-but I forgot so much stuff-my things to do-to get done- that I had to incorporate them back into my days.  I need these lists-not in a type A way-but because it helps me see a clear path.  Stay on track-when my mind wanders and time goes.  Me who could window shop and not buy- me who could be in the midst of something “important” and then like the barracuda-veer off to something shiny.

See?  I started off talking about my dreams.  I know my dream had something to do with a very old auditorium-a huge space-lots of seats-  detailed wood flecked in gold leaf with a big beautiful red velvet curtain.  It looked very much like the theater where I first performed. ever. and where I stayed many years doing theater back to back for  many seasons.  I remember walking onto the bare black stage and knowing I was home. I was very comfortable in the black bare space.  For years, many years, a bare black stage has been the place I felt the most comfortable- found the answers, peeled back the layers.  In my dream the space looked different but the same.  I was center stage and trying out a new stand up comedy routine.  I don’t do stand up. In my dream I forgot all the punch lines-and then suddenly a car came crashing through the double doors in the back of the theater and it was Marky Mark-all beefy and rugged and he yelled at me to get in the car.  I did.  Suddenly I became an action hero with Marky Mark and we were going over bridges and sparks were flying( off the car-not between me and Marky Mark) and then there was this very powerful passionate sound of a pack of coyotes and I bolted out of my dream.  The howls and barks of the coyotes were real….passing through the back yard-older coyotes in front and younger pups in back.  This was real.  This was the second time in the past week a pack of coyotes has run through the woods.  It is both exciting and scary……I can’t get up to look out the window because I am surrounded by pets.  Kitty boy, 20 pounds of purr is tucked into the curl of my body between my knees and my belly and Burdick-the 18 year old jack russell in nestled down under at my feet.  Pet love.  it is still dark outside.  I slip back into sleep.  No dreams.  No Marky Mark.  Kitty Boy and Burdick.