12:45am. 

Finally asleep. Deep sleep.  Under the covers with cat at my feet sleep.  Husband is not snoring. 

Tap. Tap. Tap.

It is not my husband.

Mooooooooooommm………taptaptap. Mommy.

I roll over and there is my 6 and 1/2 year old. 

I don’t feel very…. blecccccccccccccch.

Suddenly there is vomit everywhere. And my daughter is crying and scared.  In rapidwarp mom speed I am out of the bed and on the way to the bathroom with my daughter in tow. Puking.Not me. My daughter. But I just might. Puke is like that.  My husband is still trying to figure out what has just happened.  Then he does.

OHMYGOD! THERE IS PUKE EVERYWHERE!!!

Yes, dear, I know. I say, in between holding my daughters hair and letting her know everything is fine regardless of how many times she is throwing up beside the toilet and not in the toilet.

My husband is out of bed-he makes his way to the bathroom.

Watch out don’t step in the………

OHMYGOD! I JUST STEPPED IN PUKE!!!

Yeah. I know.

Obviously the stomach bug going around school has found us.  We managed to avoid the pink eye out break-but got the stomach bug.  In full force.  24 hours of yuck.  Or as my daughter said:

I have the throw ups.

And then things go really kaflooey and my daughter says she thinks she has the “dia-rib”.

And then we started in on that for the next two hours.

A stomach bug is on a different plane of things we deal with in the world of mom.  Say to any mom anywhere your child has the stomach bug and immediately, we all know what that means.  Say anyone else but your child has it and it is a whole different thing. 

Popsicles and sprite.  Toasts without the crust. Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeze.  Checking the fever. Hating to hear your child cry the I don’t feel good cry. 

Then it all calms down.  Systems are restored.  Sleep is not.  School is back on.  Again.

What if the throw-ups come back?  At school.  Becauseithappenedtothisonegirlinthecafeteriaandeveryonewas makingfunofher.

My daughter is making a case for not going back to school.

You are fine.  You can go back to school.

But…

You are fine.

YOUARETHEMEANESTMOMINTHEWORLD……

Just wait, I say.  Just wait until you are in middle school and you want to go to the mall with all your friends and wear a shirt you think is cool but I think is too revealing.  Just wait until you are in high-school and madly in love with “that guy” your father and I think is a creep.  Just wait until I will not let you stay out all night at “some party” with “some of your friends” because you want to be treated like an adult-but you are not even 18 yet.  Just wait until I bite my tongue and remain silent because I want you to figure it out on your own…..even though I know the outcome may lead to disappointment and heartbreak.  Just wait.

 You are fine. Now get on the bus and give the meanest mom in the whole world a kiss.

I love you.

Then I feel like the meanest mom in the world and call the school nurse.

Hi.  This is the meanest mom in the whole world.

I know this is not part of your job-but- well, could you just-well, see….um, I made her go back to school and she was afraid she would throw up in the cafeteria..and, well, could you please, um, just check on my daughter?  And if she needs to come home, well, you know, just give me a call and I’ll be right there.

The phone never rang. All day.

The mother load.