On the first day of January Hinge gave to me:1 preferred profile and a month of online dating.
On the second day of January Hinge gave to me: 1 preferred profile, two free hearts and a month of online dating.
On the third day of January Hinge gave to me: 1 preferred profile, 2 free hearts, 3 likes and a month of online dating.
On the fourth day of January Hinge gave to me: 1 preferred profile, 2 free hearts, 3 likes, 4 Christian Conservatives and a month of online dating.
On the fifth day of January Hinge gave to me: 1 preferred profile, 2 free hearts, 3 likes,4 Christian Conservatives,5 solid no’s and a month of online dating.
On the sixth day of January Hinge gave to me: 1 preferred profile, 2 free hearts, 3 likes, 4 Christian Conservatives,5 solid no’s, 6 we think you two should meet! and a month of online dating.
On the seventh day of January Hinge gave to me: 1 preferred profile, 2 free hearts, 3 likes, 4 Christian Conservatives,5 solid no’s, 6 we think you two should meet!, 7 catfish profiles, 120 left swipes, 3 more catfish profiles, one request for money, 20 pictures of men with dead fish, 30 pictures of men posing in the bathroom, 40 pictures of men posing in the gym, and a month of online dating.
On the eighth day of January Hinge gave to me: 1 preferred and verified profile,2 free hearts, 3 likes,4 Christian Conservatives,5 solid no’s,6 we think you two should meet!,7 catfish profiles,8 ideas from Hinge on ways to pay for and boost my profile to be seen by more men,120 left swipes, 3 more catfish profiles, one request for money, 20 pictures of men with dead fish, 30 pictures of men posing in the bathroom, 40 pictures of men posing in the gym, 120 more swipes to the left, a change in my demographics and distance, poor spelling and grammar in texts, an email from the Hinge safety team informing me that unfortunately they matched me with an individual who has been displaying fraudulent activity and has since been removed from Hinge, a reminder to never send any individual money or personal information(duh),and a month of online dating.
On the ninth day of January Hinge gave to me: 1 preferred and verified profile,2 free hearts, 3 likes,4 Christian Conservatives,5 solid no’s,6 we think you two should meet!,7 catfish profiles,8 ideas from Hinge on ways to pay for and boost my profile to be seen by more men,9 areyoukiddingmeHinge???,120 left swipes, 3 more catfish profiles, one request for money, 20 pictures of men with dead fish, 30 pictures of men posing in the bathroom, 40 pictures of men posing in the gym, 120 more swipes to the left, a change in my demographics and distance, spelling and grammar errors in texts, an email from the Hinge safety team informing me that unfortunately they matched me with an individual who has been displaying fraudulent activity and has since been removed from Hinge,plus a reminder to never send any individual money or personal information(duh),too many men in MAGA hats, a man “here only for a month wink emoji wink emoji”, 120 more swipes left, a man looking for a roomate,a short term but maybe a longterm, two polyamourous requests, more admissions of love languages, more confessions, one “you are pretty but live too far”( it was under 40 miles), too many men declaring their dealbreakers, but not asking about mine, me wondering what the hell kind of algorithm Hinge is operating and a month of online dating.
On the tenth day of January Hinge gave to me:1 preferred and verified profile,2 free hearts, 3 likes, 4 Christian Conservatives,5 solid no’s,6 we think you two should meet!,7 catfish profiles,8 ideas from Hinge on ways to pay for and boost my profile and be seen by more men,9 areyoukiddingmeHinge???? 10 lower your expectations,120 left swipes, 3 more catfish profiles, one request for money, 20 pictures of men with dead fish, 30 pictures of men posing in the bathroom, 40 pictures of men posing in the gym, 120 more swipes to the left, a change in my demographics and distance, spelling and grammar errors in texts, an email from the Hinge safety team informing me that unfortunately they matched me with an individual who has been displaying fraudulent activity and has since been removed from Hinge,plus a reminder to never send any individual money or personal information(duh),too many men in MAGA hats, a man “here only for a month wink emoji wink emoji”, 120 more swipes left, 100 murderers, 100 more creepy as fuck looking dudes, one who looked like he had someone tied up in his basement, three who declared they shave everything, bad hair dye,one who liked everything about me if only I “was younger”, a man looking for a roommate,a short term but maybe a longterm, two polyamourous requests, more admissions of love languages,cringe worthy voice recordings( a new component to Hinge), more confessions, one “you are pretty but live too far”( it was under 40 miles), too many men declaring their dealbreakers, but not asking about mine, too many men who left me wondering what the hell kind of algorithm Hinge is operating, more we think you two should meet! when clearly we should not!, retired, not retired, unemployed, cigars? why so many cigars??, sooooo many consultants who consult on one thing or another, a few 10/20’s( 10 years older and 20 pounds heavier than the pictures they post), wesbites that do not exist, companies that do not exist,more of the same ole same ole, one decent, somewhat intelligent connect who flaked( not literally, but figuratively), one I will call but never does, one let’s meet at this place at this time, but never shows, and a delete on a month of online dating.