Full disclosure: I LOVE FACE PRODUCTS. Sample size, full size, testers, mud packs, eye gels, scrubs, fine line erase; I have been through the mill. Blame it on my Grandmother Brown. She who religiously wore make-up everyday, and just as religiously cleaned her face, day and night-with a whole routine of products. I can still smell that smell-Estee Lauder, there in the left hand corner, on her faux marbled counter top in the downstairs baby blue bathroom. All those products neatly arranged on a gold mirror tray. There in the mix were the two most important: Noxzema and Ponds cold cream. She swore by both. Grandma Brown, the last of the true steel magnolias made me promise I would always keep my face and my nails clean;tomboy that I was.
I too was a Noxzema girl-right up through high school, then I moved on to Clinique( remember the 1-2-3 system they had? ) Collins Department store- the only store in our town at the time, with a real make-up counter,had just hired a one time famous model who had moved back home after sort of making it big in New York. Her name was Pepper. Just “Pepper”. She had Farrah hair. Rumor was she lost her mind in the city, could not take the pressure and moved back home. She married a Marine and went to work at Collins. Selling Clinque. She was a natural at selling skin care and make-up. Mom and I purchased a 1-2-3 mother daughter set: Cleanse, Tone, Moisturize. Dramatically different.
When I went off to college, the big thing was that very expensive black soap in it’s own case. All the girls had it. I stuck with my Noxzema. But then, after a stint working at the mall, I discovered Lancome. To hell with that fancy black soap for Waspy good girls. I was going to the smouldering side.
To this day, I have made Annie Price Brown , God rest her soul,a very happy woman- at least when it comes to my face and nails.
I am religious about skin care. And God knows I will slather something new and exciting on this face in a vanity second.
True Story: A few years ago,upon learning I was invited back into the world of television and close-ups, I called one of my dearest friends in LA. She is the queen when it comes to face products-she who knows more inside scoop on what really works, what never will, and when to give up on a product line and move on to the next. Granted, she has never taken a needle or a knife to her fine Italian face-but she too, will slather on wrinkle erase in a vanity second. Without hesitation, she pointed me in the direction of overnight repair, from the land of bliss. $75 dollars for 4.5 ounces. This was the most money I had ever spent on an individual product. Ever. It must be amazing. I had it shipped over night. When it arrived, in it’s own very tiny blue box,I ripped it open and quickly read the instructions. After all, my first day of filming was looming. “Dab on areas that need attention,once in the morning and once before you go to bed” It was one o’clock in the afternoon. I dabbed away, only on the areas that needed attention right away-without hesitation.
Funny thing about dabbing? Suddenly, before you know it, you are dabbing all over the place, because, heck, if this is going to work on tiny areas, why not slather all over the entire face, and just be done with it? So, on the third day, I slathered. All over. Right before I went to bed. It tingled a bit. Must be working, I thought as visions of wrinkle free danced in my head. Then, it started to tingle a lot. In fact, my face was sort of burning.
Oh it was burning all right. The next morning I awoke to a red, splotchy face. It felt much like a mild sunburn. You know, when you burn your face at the beach-sunblock be damned? And then days later it begins to……….peel?! Peel! Peel? PEEL?! My first day of filming is in four days. I CAN NOT BE PEELING? Quick, what to do? Who to call? Check face- still red, tight and not the effect I wanted from a full slathering of over night repair. Skin…..fixes…think fast….dermatologist friend who will not laugh at me for being so stupid. Call her. She will know what to do. And here is what she said.
“Butt cream.”
BUTT CREAM??!! Apparently, the same ingredients in a $3.00 tube of diaper rash cream provide relief to mild facial burns.
By the time my first day of filming arrived, I was in much better shape-with only a few flakes present as proof I had done something stupid. Did I look any younger? Not really. As I sat in the chair, anxiously waiting my turn for magic, the make-up artist, very skillfully and graciously pulled out a pair of tweezers, from a small leather pouch attached to his hip, put on his glasses and said: “Did someone go a little crazy with the wrinkle cream?” And he quietly removed the last remaining flake from my cheek.
And that was my lesson in vanity. From bliss world to butt cream.